Gone
by LelouchsLover4Ever
Summary: It all happened so fast,yet it seemed to be in slow motion through my eyes,the sound of metal scrapping Shu'svoice screaming out my name,pain shooting throughout my body.Trying to get to Shu,only to fall into darkness.Because of me,shu is no longer here
1. Gone?

**Chapter 1-Gone**

**Disclaimer; I do not, will not , and shall never own Gravitation. If I did I would be supper awesome!**

**It all happened so fast, yet it seemed to be in slow motion through my eyes,the sound of the screeching car,the metal sliding on pavement,the sound of Shu's voice screaming my name in terror. Pain , shooting throughout my body,the darkness, waking for a moment, trying to reach Shu, the only fall into darkness again. Why did it half to happen? Why didn't I make Shu sit in the back seat when he told me the seat belt wasn't working. But I didn't, and because of it, Shu, my Shu is no longer here.**

**One Month Earlier;**

It had been one year since Shu , my lover had come to New York, saved me from myself, allowed my heart to heal. I went back to Japan, the day after Shu had shown up. Sho had still been on a high from his concert. Since then , Sho and I had been with one another for a year, he had now stopped sleeping on the couch, and in my bed with me. That day I got home earlier, then normal, entering the apartment, he greeted me with his usual smile and hug. "YUUKIII! WELCOME HOME!", he yelled haply I looked down at him while subbing my ear. "Geez , can you get nay louder brat?", I said looking down at him. He only stared at me with his big eye's that I loved so much. "Sorry Yuki, I'm just glad to see you",Shu said to me resting his head onto my chest. Sighing I wrapped my arms around him.. If I had known he'd get taken from me so soon, I would have done anything to stay close to him. "Come on brat, let's make some lunch", i said and moved away from him, and headed towards the kitchen. Shu followed me of course,still as happy as ever. After lunch , I went to work on my newest book. It was the reason I had come early after all. Shu had taken his spot beside me as i went to work. But then , he started talking, he just wouldn't shut up. I needed silence to work. I glared at him. "GET OUT! I HAVE WORK TO DO!", I yelled ,getting up and pushed him out of my office ,and slamming the door before he could turn and say anything directly too me. I herd him mumble something unrecognizable, and walk away. If I had know I was going to lose him , I would have pulled him into my arms, tell him that I was sorry,and tat he could stay in my office with me.

But I didn't , I just let him go, not knowing if I hurt his feelings or not. After a few hours I saved my work and left my office, Shu was on the couch, he had drifted off to sleep,reading one of his Manga's. I glanced at the clock. It was around dinner time, since I was not in the mood to be cooking dinner, I decided that Shu and I would go out and eat.

"Brat ,hey brat wake up", I said shaking him. Shu woke with a jolt, and looked to me. "Yuki?, everything okay?", he asked sitting up. "Yeah,come on were going out

for dinner", I said and headed for the door. Shu jumped up following me."Ohhhh, Yuki were going out for dinner?Like a date?", he asked eagerly. I looked back at to him. "Its just diner idiot ,come on", I said heading out the door, with Shu right behind me.

Once at my car we got in. I buckled up, and looked at Shu who was having trouble with his seat belt."forget how to use a normal seat belt?", I asked raising an eyebrow. Shu looked at me with a glare,and coming from him it was funny. "No! ... it's broken..it won't lock in",he said showing me that the seat belt was indeed broken.. "well, just hold it in place for now, I'll get it fixed", I said softly and drove off to a favourite restaurant of mine. We ate dinner peacefully, talking about how my new book was coming along, how Shu's concert's were, and how much I was there for most of them. Inside I was saying _"yeah ... I wish I could have been there , but I had stupid things for work to do"_, But, all I said was,"so what if I wasn't there? You'll have more, I'll see one sooner or later", I said coldly. But there would be no more concerts, it was so foolish of me not to go to most of his concerts, I took advantage of him and the love he gave me.

After dinner we headed home. It had started raining by then. Shu was still fooling around with his seat belt,trying to get it to work. "Just leave it, i said I'd fix it later, keep your hand on it,so it at-least looks like you have it one so I don't get pulled over", I said annoyed as I stopped at a red light. Shu sighed keeping his hand on the belt, looking out the window. The light turned green I started going through. That's when it all happened. Shu gasped as he looked to me yelling my name, "YUKI", he yelled at the top of his lings. I turned my head in time to see the transport trick,that had been going to fast to stop at the lights in time,screeching his breaks ,trying to stop. Shu's eyes were wide with fear. I looked out my window to see a car that had been trying to turn on the red light. The next few moments were utter hell. The sound of Shu's screams of pain as the truck slammed into his side, with such fours that the car flipped onto the roof. The sound of the metal crunching as it slid across the pavement , and spined some, so i hit the other car. I had to have banged my head hard because everything went black for a while.

The next thing I knew I was coming around, hanging upside down in my seat,my seat belt holding me up. I could here people crying,some yelling in shock, most of them though were yelling at people to Call 911. My head was spinning, I could feel blood coming from it. I looked to my side slowly to see how Shu was. But then as I turned my head, I remembers. Shu's seat belt had been broken. I looked straight down towards the seat Shu had been in. My eyes widened seeing laying lifelessly on the roof of the car,blood was coming from every where. "Shu ...", I muttered out weakly and tried to reach out to him. M body shot pain throughout it in protest,but I ignored it. Shuici ... Shuichi ... I had to get to him. "Shu ... ichi" , I ,muttered before sub-coming to the pain. Everything once again going black.

I was drifting in and out of consciousness after that. Things that I remember came in small blurs. Like being strolled away from my car ,laying on a stretcher,looking back to my car to see Shu being taken out with the jaws of life. The ride over waking up,trying to ask a paramedic about Shuichi , to see if he was okay. But being to weak to speak. Then being rushed into the hospital,starring at the sealing , at the bright lights, before things went black for a long time,my last thoughts on Shu, hopping that he was okay.

Waking up the next time, I herd a beeping sound. '_A heart beet monitor_', I thought to myself. I slowly opened my eyes , looking around ,expecting to see Shu, his big dorky smile, or his tear filled face,but i didn't see him ,instead I herd my brother speak. "Yuki .. Yuki, its me ,Tatsuha, Yuki your in a hospital" , he said with relief, worry,happiness and sadness all wrapped into one voice. "I know that you Idiot", I said softly."wheres Shu?", I asked , looking at my brother intently. Tatsuha looked down and away. That made me nervous. "Tatsuha ... tell me ...tell me that hes okay", I said intensely. Tatsuha shook his head still not looking at me. "No ... hes ... Yuki,Shuichi – Kun ... didn't make it".he said looking to me sadly. I stared at him. It had to be a joke. "that's not funny Tatsuha ... now where's my Shuichi?", I asked, surprising myself that I had said _'My Shuichi' _ out loud. But Tatsuha's look remained the same. "Yuki ... hes gone he died a few days ago ... a few hours after you two were two were brought here",he said solemnly

I shook my head. "No ... not Shu ... Shu would never die, he'd fight no mater what, who told you this!", I yelled feeling pain. Tatsuha sighed."Tohma,he was the one who spoke to the doctors that were treating you and Shuichi – kun".he said sadly. "No",I muttered,as I felt tears in my eyes. "NOOO!", i yelled and began crying. I must have cried myself to asleep because after that ,everything is a blank.

**Present Day**

Its been a month since then,today I am being relaxed. I called myself a cab after I had filled out the paper work. Tohma had offered me a ride, I declined ,I just wanted to be alone. The taxi showed up, and I was soon home. I stood at my door -our door – for a moment, starring at it. The key was gripped in my hand. I was almost expecting Shu to be greeting me. But he was gone. No longer would I here his voice,feel his hugs,his touch ... his love. Unlocking my door I slowly walked in and looked around. The apartment was just how we left it,the night we went out. The manga Shu had been reading still lay on the table beside the couch he had slept on. The house was so quite. I stuck my hand in my jeans pocket. I blinked feeling something. Pulling out the object I frowned at my lighter. On it was the sticker photo, the one of me and Shu,the day I took him to the amusement park for lovers. Curdesy of Mr.K. I remembered how Shu laughed as he had to jump up to get into the picture ,to be with me. Hearing his laughter in my head,that's what broke me. I fell onto my knees holding the lighter close to me as I made myself into a ball. Right there on the living room floor. "Shuichi ... Shuichi come back! Please come back!", I yelled into the air. But I knew its was pointless ,he was dead, and the dead can never come back.

**To Be Continued . . .**


	2. Trying To Live Without You

**DISCLAIMER; I do NOT own Gravitation or any of its original characters. I do own my OOC , witch is the mysterious voice on the phone ,her name will be reviled in the next chapter, until then guess away. I can never own gravitation, as I said if I did own it I'd be supper awesome**

**This chapter is short,just a fair warning.**

**Trying To Live Without You;**

Its been one month, and two weeks,since Shu has been dead. I haven't had time to grieve. The first month, I had been going through the recovery process. I've only been home for two weeks. I woke up early this morning ,although ,I didn't want to. I was having the most wonderful dream. Shu ,my Shu was alive ,he was with me, I could feel his warmth. But hearing my alarm, I was reminded it was a dream , and that Shu was gone.

Tohma , had been concerned for my mental health, so he suggested to me that I didn't go see Shu's grave, or watch T.V., since his death would be all over it. Not wanting to be remind of his death, I agreed. But now, I want to go to his resting place,to be able to sit and talk with him. When I called Tohma , to ask where Shu was buried, he became nervous, told me that he didn't know, but that he'd find out. Before I could ask if something was wrong, he hung up the phone.

Hanging up the phone I sighed and went to make a cup of coffee I blindly reached up into my cupboard for a mug,grabbing the first one I felt I put it on the counter. Only to realize it was Shu's mug. I traced my finger along the rim of the mug,where his lips had been."Shuichi ... I miss you so much", I muttered softly. Looking at the mug closely, I decided to use it. All the little things of his made it feel like Shu was till here. That I wasn't alone in my apartment.

Poring the coffee into the mug I went out into the living room. I sat onto the couch, starring into the mug. Then , a sound, snapped me out of my thoughts, bot just any sound. I heard Shu's voice yelling at he to find him. I sat the mug down and started to search my apartment. "Shu? ... Shuichi?",I called out. I stepped seeing him there ,sitting at the edge of my bed. "Shu...", I said softly walking towards him.

Shu only smiled at me. "DUH, now what are you doing here?, you should b put enjoying this beautiful day, you should be out enjoying this beautiful day, you don't want to waste it", Shu said looking out the window , before looking back to me."Go my Yuki,don't mope about here all day",he said grinning. "Shuichi" , I muttered with tears in my eyes, I took a step towards him, reaching out to him as he smiled at me. Then with a blink of an eye , Shu was gone. "No ... Shu... Shuichi come back!", I yelled looking around. But no reply came. He was once again gone.

After my Coffee , I thought long and hard about what Shu had said to me. Looking to the window ,seeing the sunny sky, I nodded." Only for you, I said softly. Sighing I stood ,got changed,slipped my shoes on and my jacket I headed out and started walking. I didn't know where I was walking, I just walked. Shu had been right the day was beautiful. Before I knew it I was in the park where Shu and I had first met. I stopped, standing in the same place I was standing the night Shu and I had first set eyes on each other. As I stood there, I swore I could see Shu standing there, looking over the railing, out to the scenery.

Slowly I walked to where I saw Shu. Shu's image had vanished of course, but looking out I smiled. Shu knew beauty, and lovely things. With another sigh I sat on the park bench, and stayed there for hours. When I heard the clock tower chime out noon, I blinked out of my thought . Then hearing my stomach growl."Guess I'm hungry", I muttered and getting up I headed to McDonald. Ordering fries,I made my way home,eating as I walked. Looking up seeing rain clouds forming. I cursed under my breath, still being a long way from home.

Before I knew it the rain was pouring down. People took shelter, as for me, I desired I'd run home. "Damn it Shu,I bet your laughing up there right now aren't you!" I yelled as I ran down the empty sidewalks.

I was happy once I got back to the apartment. "Damn Shu ... you should have been stuck out in that with me", I said to myself. I slipped out of my shoes and jacket. Heading into the bathroom to get a nice hot shower. After undressing I hopped into the shower , letting the warmth wash over me. Even when in the shower, I could here Shu's voice singing to a song he was working-on. "If only you were here now", I said in a whisper. Shutting off the water i stepped out wrapping a towel around me. Looking around I realized that I had forgotten my dry clothes. Cursing I went out into the hall, and looked to the side. I bilked seeing my message machine blinking. _'someone must have called when I was out',_ I thought to myself and went to get changed.

After getting changed I went out to the living room and pressed the play back button on the answering machine. The automated voice came on; _You have two unheard messages ... first message:" __**"Hey Yuki ... It's Hiroshi Nakano, Shuichi's friend,former band member ... anyways , I'm calling to see if you and Shuichi got into a fight ... hes been missing for a month and two weeks now ... your brother in law,Tohma, told us he'd look into it after we had told him that Shuichi was missing, that was a while back, he hasn't spoken to us since, if you know anything , please let us know", **__"End of message, to erase-" _ I stated at the machine as it have me options on what to do with Hiro's message. What did he mean Shu was missing, did they not know that Shu was dead? Tohma would have told them. Then remeberd. The accident was a month ago. Hiro told them that he'd look into Shu's disappearance . But , at that time , he knew about the accident , he knew Shu was dead. If Shu was dead, they would have been to his funeral. Then an uneasy feeling came over him.

When Shu had appeared to him, first thing he said was,_"Find Me!" _I shook my head and looked back to the machine as the next message started. _**"You call yourself Shuichi's lover? Then why aren't you here?~It just me , his cousin!No that Shuichi spoke of me ... I was a runaway from the family ... I only spoke to Shuichi through letters,anyways Shuichi needs more then one supporter, he's on his death bed, he may give up, I know he loves you, please come and be by his side" **__"end of new messages. _I stopped and stared at the machine in utter shock and confusion. "Shu ... Shuichi is alive?", I said starring in shock. Tohma said Shu had died, he had told me not to visit Shu's grave , or to watch T.V. , or even look a newspaper because Shu's death would be all over it. He told Hiro that he'd look into Shu's disappearance ... but , that was a month ago, when he _**knew**_ that Shu was dead. Now his cousin calls telling me that Shu is alive but that he is dieing?

First things first, I had to call Tohma and get some answers, then call Shu's cousin. She had answers also. Picking up the phone I dialled Tohma's office number, no answer. Then I called his cell, still no answer. I decided to wait to see if he got back to me, before I made my next move. Tohma knew something , and he was going to tell me what I wanted to know!

**To Be Continued . . . . **


	3. Lissen Up :

Okay here is the scoop. I have disabled anonymous reviews because i am not putting up with rude people who don't have the guys to send me a PM and allow me to retort to there comments. But those of you who do like it thank you. And I'm sorry that you can't give an anonymous review. Blame people who are to rude for their own good. But in a way I like being shot down, because it will make me be a better writer. And if you are a hater, and you realized that you hatted the first chapter why would you keep reading it? If its just so you can criticize ... then you need help.


	4. hey all

Hey, sorry i have not have had an update in a while, i have had writers block , and the first review I got made me feel terrible. BUT I have gotten 10 times more positive reviews! I was so inspired that I've picked up the pen and started writing again. You can all expect a chapter tonight ,maybe two. Thank you all who gave me comments that made me feel awesome, and for all your favouring my story!


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